Today Elise, Casey, and I did what we always do. We hung out, went to Savers, and other various Antique/Thrift Shops and spent too much money. The thing that made today different though, was the fact that it's one of the last times we'll be doing it before I move. I never thought it'd be this hard to say goodbye. I'm having a lot of trouble with it. I've probably cried enough this week to last me a long time. My emotions are so drained, and I'm ready to start a new. As hard as it is to leave, I have to keep telling myself that I am doing this for myself. It's the right decision, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. It's the most difficult thing I have ever done. Ever, in my life. Saying goodbye to the two people in this world who aren't family, but feel as if they are. I love them with all of my heart, and I hate that I'm making them so sad. It hurts so much to know they are hurting right now. I have a problem with doing things for myself. I always do everything for other people, to make sure they are happy...and this time, I'm not. I'm doing this for me, and it's much more formidable, and much harder than I ever could have imagined. We also went and saw the movie Eat Pray Love. First of all, I recommend it if you haven't seen it yet. It's an excellent flick! Secondly, let me give you a little synopsis. So it's about this woman, Liz, who live in New York. She has a great life. A wonderful husband, who loves her, and cares for her dearly. She has friends that are once in a lifetime people. She has a career that is to die for, and a beautiful home to live in. He life is stable, comfortable, and routine. But she isn't happy. She doesn't have a passion for living anymore, and she doesn't know why. She can't figure it out. She used to have a desire to see, feel, and experience everything. She realizes she isn't happy in New York, and she isn't giving all of the people she loves most her full potential as a person. She still has yet to figure herself out. So, she prays. She prays for an answer because she doesn't know what else to do. She gets her answer. She decides to go away from her "safety net" that is new york, and go find herself where her heart is telling her to go. I won't give anything else away, but that is basically the plot line. Sounds familiar right? Yeah, I thought so too. It was like I was watching my life happen. I couldn't believe how similar my situation is to Liz's. Anyways, I guess this post is just another post discussing how much I'll miss it here, even though I know I'm making the right choice. It's just all that I've been able to think about lately. It's consuming my mind. Two more days left in this town. Two more days of familiarity, and then I begin a new chapter of my life. Surrounded by the people I love most in this world...my family. I can't wait to be with you all. You are the people I need, and want to be with most, even if it is hard to let go of the life I have here...It's time for me to be happy. It's time for a new familiarity.
"The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
-Pugus
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